Granite, the material of choice for kitchen countertops, weights about 25 pounds per square foot. The granite I ordered from Stone World, 61.3 square feet, came in four sections. Two were “L” shaped, the other two oblong. Each piece weighed somewhere between 350 and 400 pounds. One piece, the slab where my kitchen sink would be undermounted, was ten feet long. It was the heaviest.
My granite installers were young men, muscular, some would call them hunks. The back of their truck featured a lifting device they used to hoist the granite up out of the truckbed. Then they had to carry it into the house and lift it into place. Three pieces of granite, and one monster piece of granite.
When granite installers carry a slab of granite that weighs between 350 and 400 pounds, 25 pounds per square foot, their pants fall down.
My guess is that the extreme, almost superhuman effort it takes to lift and carry these hunks of stone causes their weight to shift. The blood rushes to the muscles in their chests and arms, and their waists thin out, and men have no hips anyway, so the inevitable happens.
The installers, they were brothers I learned, set the two “L” shaped granite pieces and hiked up their trousers and went out for another. They brought in the third piece and set it on the island, and then they went for the monster.
It was the worst. They had to let it rest atop a barstool while they gathered strength for that final heave-ho. When they were ready, they lifted it and set it in place. They hiked up their pants and it was clear they were pleased with themselves.
So it isn’t just plumbers who show their cracks. Granite installers do too.
Well, plumbers and granite installers are in the same category, but the “crack problem” is much broader than that. It includes carpenters, mechanics…the list is endless. I have a female cousin that is a plumber and I used to set kitchen cabinets and counter tops. I have yet to have a “crack” problem and I am 99.9% sure that my cousin hasn’t had the problem either. So, in short, the occupation does not matter. It’s just men as a whole.